The Last Thing

As I have been processing our loss over the last few days, my husband and I had signed up to take some dear friends a meal because of the arrival of their new baby. As the time drew near to make the meal I kept thinking how this was the last thing I wanted to do. I had no desire to go see their new son, and the joy I had felt over his birth weeks before had become overshadowed by my grief. But, I had said I would, so I dutifully made dinner and Jason and I drove to their house. Little did I know that by walking through their front door, hope would start to re-enter my soul. My friend offered to let me hold her beautiful boy, and I couldn't pass it up.
As I sat there with him asleep in my arms, his tiny fingers curled around one of mine, I felt like I was being restored. I never thought that by going over, I would start to feel whole again, but thats exactly what happened. I am always amazed how God uses the last thing I would want to do, to start to heal me.